Talk to Psychiatry on Anger Issue, Stress

Two absurd questiins but still wanted to ask. Does it make any difference of consulting a male or female psychologist? Like being female should i consider visiting only female psychologist cz female understnd female psych better (i had been trying to consult one, but this thing crossed my mind. It would be appropriate if answered) ? Second question i had been depressed for more than 2 dacades. I have crossed that suicide phase but never attempted one. Now i am stressed, so much that i can not feel it, but its affecting my sicial and physical well being. I am angry and contemplated harming or even killing the people. I know i can control this urge but i feel i ll get mad/crazy. I know i can not be fixed now. But Being in such a state for over 20/25 years, how much time will it take minimum to get tp a better mental state, after consulting a psychologist? Or should I consult a psychiatrists?